My Marriage Fell Apart the Day the Dog Died

Have you heard the adage that married life begins again when the last child leaves home and the dog dies? Or have you heard people say they moved to a new house without a forwarding address so their adult children could not find them and move back home? Both possibilities are in doubt.

Several years ago I called a friend to check on him. I asked him jokingly how many of his three adult children were currently living in his house. His answer was 2.5. Two had been there for a while and the third was moving in the next month. So much for the next stage of marriage.

This supposed new beginning for married life is the Empty Nest stage. When married couples reach this stage of life, they must renegotiate their relationship patterns, and think about multiple issues in new ways. They have more health and wellness issues. The body is not what it used to be. There may be actual chronic or acute diseases they manage. They may be out of shape and overweight. They take maintenance drugs that go beyond a simple aspirin and vitamin.

They begin to think about their career. Will they ever get to the position in their career that they have always believed they deserved to achieve? Or will they have to be satisfied with something less? Do they want to stay with their same organization for the rest of their career? Or is this a time to…